Two and a half months! I’m slowly starting to space these out to a retarded medium. I figured though, you wouldn’t want to read these if they consisted mainly of me going out and doing the same thing week in-week out. Now that I think of it though, that’s all it’s really been since August. Nothing interesting has happened to me for a while, well nothing that isn’t nerdy anyway. I figure I’ll start with that, but be warned, I predict this entry to be a little.. uncategorically messy, a disheveled work of art if you may. Back to the nerdy stuff. I recently upgraded the hardware that this site, Glass Ambience, and a few other things aswell. It’s now running on a quad-core Xeon with 4GB of ram. Hurray! Not that this means much to people who browse just this part of my site, but it does mean that I won’t have to worry about my gallery taking up heaps of disk space now, or the site taking forever to load because something’s locked it up. Merely for my own piece of mind really, it was far from peace when I upgraded though. Good lord. It’s funny though, because where the server is located (over in the Netherlands, simply because of their awesome connection to everywhere else in the world) makes it a little harder to get in contact with the tech support where it’s hosted. I won’t bore you with the technical details, but think of it this way, over the course of 3 days I had emailed the ISP about 17 times getting them to remove the disc from the tray so I can test my installation, only to find out 2 minutes after the server rebooted that I hadn’t included something, or did something right and that I would have to wait until they replied back to my request to reinsert the disc so I can fix my mistake. Keep in mind, while all of this is happening, it’s happening at 3am my local time, which is around lunch time or late afternoon over there. What I’d do, is email them, and when I go to sleep, I’d set Thunderbird to play something loud and have my headphones unplugged. Needless to say I was scared shitless each time I’d get an email, and be equally pissed off when the email I get isn’t the one I was after. Over the course of those few days though, I managed to get very little sleep, but I succeeded in setting up the server and migrating over without a single hitch, which I thought was pretty fan-fucking-tastic.

I’ve had this conversation with a number of people, but is it weird that I’m not doing anything for my 21st? Take a few things into account though, I haven’t done anything for my birthday since I can remember (I think the last time I would have been maybe 12), hell, I try to avoid acknowledging my birthday if at all possible. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just another day. Looking through my previous posts, I’ve only had one blog up while it was my birthday, unfortunately it wasn’t my 18th birthday (for those who don’t know, my 18th was the first time I had ever been drunk, so I did what most people did and had copious amounts of alcohol with very little food in my stomach.) Actually, reading through these old posts makes me cringe somewhat. Makes me slightly miss high school aswell. But I digress. Either way, I still don’t celebrate my birthday. My parents were intent of giving me some kind of party, but really it’s just too much hassle as far as I’m concerned. Most of the 21st parties I’ve been to, it’s consisted of the person who’s having their birthday running around trying to get things sorted when something breaks. Then there’s always the person who’s just had way too much and becomes that annoying drunk. Then there’s the cleanup the same night or the next day. I’m sorry, but if there’s going to be some celebration involving myself I don’t want to have to clean up shit, and, I don’t want to have to worry about anything. Seems kind of backwards if you’re the only person not getting drunk at your own party because you’re too worried about whether everyone else is gettink drunk. I just can’t see spending an inordinate amount of money on something that happens once every year, and it barely happens as is (unless you birthday every year is on a weekend, but that’s almost impossible.) Birthdays are also an untimely reminder that you haven’t done anything in 12 month.

I hate when I don’t have anything remotely interesting to write, because it leads me to think about all the stuff I say each time.. I don’t have anything interesting to write. Such as: my lack of girlfriend, inability to properly choose what I want to do with my life, and the number of uninteresting things happening in my life. I hate writing entries that a such downers, but when I’ve got nothing else to talk about, a little self loathing won’t go astray. I’ll be 21 soon, so let’s recap:

I’ve been:
• Out of highschool for three years
• Working at Kmart for five years (or there abouts)
• Living at home for my whole life
• Single, my whole life
• Out of Darwin three times
• Living in Darwin my whole life

On the flipside, I’ve been:
• Running a blog for nearly 5 years
• …

It’s a very one-sided argument. Take the initiative you say, go out and find something to do with your life! Like what you smart ass cunt. Unfortunately I don’t know what the hell I want to do, and people saying “whatever you want!” makes it a whole lot easier. I lie to people when they ask what I do now.

Someone Random: “So do you take photos elsewhere?”
Me: “Nope, just here”
SOR: “Do you work elsewhere?”
Me: “Uihh.. nope..”

So I managed to forget what I was talking about before, which doesn’t surprise me because it’s been a couple of days since I started writing this. I was on a roll talking about something but was horribly interrupted when one of my computers decided it was going to shit itself. Almost literally, I was in the middle of downloading something when it suddenly come to a halt. I then spent the next 4 hours trying to work out why it kept restarting. Eventually I gave up and tried the next day to no success. Which sucks ass. Considering it’s my old computer (well, before the one I have now), the same one I’ve had for nearly 3 years. No idea what happened, it’s probably just way too hot in my room that it decided it was going to keel over and not work for certain things. It just sucks though, because now I’ve gotta sit around and wait for the new hardware to arrive and rebuild my fileserver. The worst part though? The time between me clicking the submit button and the time the stuff is sitting in my car while I’m driving back to my house 10km/h over the speed limit.

I’m finding myself an increasing amount of times just sitting in front of my computer.. staring at my ceiling. Like now, I’ve got my legs up on my desk leaning back listening to Howard Stern and I’m finding my eyes wandering around and staring at my roof, or my monitor. Nothing ever in particular, nothing really going through my head, just staring into blank space. It’s kind of weird, I can just sit here being unproductive until midnight when I’m really tired, go to sleep, wake up, and the next night I’ll do the same thing over again. I’ve just got nothing to do in the meantime. It’s handy whenever something on my server breaks because it means I’ll have something to do before I sleep, but generally it’ll be a quick fix, so no sooner do I find the problem, I fix it. Like even now, the closest I’m coming to doing something productive is writing this. I should be.. doing something else, something that’s productive.

Well, I figure I’ll end this one here because I’m running out of things to say, but as usual, I’ll link to photos and stuff like that.